Ha ha! I'll be there in five, put the kettle on. Ahem.
No, I really don't think the Optimate would damage anything at all.
I think getting the bike plugged into a diagnostic tool is the answer.
Do you know anyone else out there with a 2009 bike who might let you try their clocks? (Hopefully they would survive the testing process). Maybe someone else will chip in. But surely blank clocks indicates either a problem with the ECU sending info to them, the wire carrying info to them, or the clocks themselves.
If it were mine, I'd be plugging in my diagnostic cable, then, if there were no error codes, I would disable the canbus startup check for the clocks and try to start the bike.